I used to be genuinely happy before you left, you know?
I had this pure-heart that made my life feel amazing and you kept making it better. But then you left. Suddenly something changed along the way, and now I feel empty and tired all the damn time. It's like I've lost the will to socialize or do anything. I just stay in bed, trying to escape reality through sleep. I put on some music, hoping it'll help, but it doesn't do much. And don't even get me started on how I overthink every damn thing.
Seeing people who are genuinely happy makes me jealous. I mean, my family doesn't really get what I'm going through, and when they try, I just feel like the odd one out. I don't blame them. May be I am the one who is unlovable. Sometimes, I wish I could be someone else, someone who knows how to be happy.
I can't focus on anything anymore. My mind constantly drifts, and I end up zoning out all the time. Remembering all the time we spent together, going out, having fun and laughing our hearts out. But now, all I want to do is lock myself up in my room, watching movies, listening to music, and shutting the world out. It's getting to the point where I'm starting to hate myself.
That smile you see on my face ? It's fake, completely fake. Deep down, I feel like I'm slowly giving up. I don't even know what to do anymore or how to express what I'm feeling. But if ever we happen to cross paths again, I wouldn't complain about anything. I hope to see you walking with him hand in hand and smiling.
Afterall that is why you left me, right ? To be happy.
Happy with him, away from me and everything that I failed to give you.
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